ADHD Mom Burnout: How to Manage Feelings of Overwhelm as a Mom Who Has ADHD 

Are you experiencing ADHD mom burnout? Are you a mom or parent with ADHD who is feeling overwhelmed, irritable, emotionally detached, or exhausted?

If so, you may be experiencing ADHD mom burnout. 

ADHD mom burnout is real and can be very difficult to deal with. But it isn’t impossible to overcome these obstacles and live a productive and happy life.

I am a homeschooling mom with ADHD. who also blogs full-time, so I know how hard it can be to try to balance parenting and other responsibilities while managing the symptoms of ADHD. It can be exhausting, overwhelming, and frustrating at times. Many moms with ADHD experience burnout, a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress and overwork.

According to a study by Ohio State University, 66% of parents reported being burnt out, and 77% of parents who had a history of anxiety reported burnout. 

One parent in the study said, “I feel like I am running out of gas, but I don’t see a gas station in sight to let me relax and fill up my tank again”. I can DEFINITELY relate to that statement.

In this article, I will discuss what ADHD mom burnout is, help you identify if you are experiencing it, how to avoid it again in the future, and how to recover from burnout if you are already in full burnout mode.

*If you are looking for information about having a CHILD with ADHD, there are helpful websites like CHADD and ADDitude Mag that would be very helpful.

It is important to remember that I am sharing my personal experience as a mom living with ADHD. I am not a mental health professional. If you are struggling with your mental health, make sure to reach out to your doctor for guidance. If you are experiencing a crisis, you can call the National Suicide and Crisis Hotline at 988.

 What is ADHD Mom Burnout?

Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress. It can affect anyone, but it’s especially common among mothers with ADHD. 

Balancing the never-ending demands of motherhood and homemaking with the challenges of ADHD can be very difficult at times. It can be overwhelming and exhausting, and it’s easy to feel like you’re constantly falling short. That’s why it’s important to understand what ADHD mom burnout is and how to prevent it.

Some symptoms of burnout include feeling exhausted all the time, losing interest in things you used to enjoy, feeling irritable, and having trouble concentrating. There may even be physical symptoms such as frequent headaches, upset stomach, and difficulty sleeping.

It’s important to recognize these symptoms and take action before burnout becomes too severe and debilitating.

By understanding ADHD mom burnout and taking steps to prevent it, you can be a happier, healthier, and more efficient mom.

How Does ADHD Burnout Affect Parenting?

Sometimes when we are experiencing burnout, we are not emotionally available for our children and/or spouse. It can affect our parenting, relationships, and our children’s well-being.

Children may act out in several ways. They may have trouble concentrating, display defiant behaviors, or feel unhappy about themselves (they may think the parent’s sadness or anger is their fault). 

I know it’s time for me to check myself for burnout when my children need me more often and fight for my attention. They bicker with each other and I just feel completely overwhelmed. As hard as it is to do, I know these are the times when I should start trying to carve out time for each child, even if only for 10-20 at a time if that is what I can handle at that time. 

Remember, THERE IS HOPE! We are in control of which path we take.

Causes of ADHD Mom Burnout and Ways to Avoid Burning Out

Living with ADHD can be challenging, especially for mothers who juggle multiple responsibilities.

Here are some common triggers and challenges that can lead to ADHD mom burnout:

Juggling Multiple Responsibilities

As an ADHD mom, I often find myself trying to balance work, household chores, homeschooling, and parenting. Trying to keep up with all of these responsibilities can be overwhelming, and I often feel like I’m failing at everything. Trying to do everything at once becomes overwhelming and can lead to burnout,

How to Manage: 

I have found that using productivity tools to prioritize tasks and break them down into smaller, more manageable steps is helpful. I also try to delegate tasks to family members when possible. It can be challenging for some of us to ask for help. I have difficulty admitting that I can’t do it alone sometimes. But asking for help always pays off. Meal planning is something I struggled with until I made my FREE Homeschool Lunch Meal Planning Bundle printables. I use these printables myself and want to share them with other parents who are struggling with the same problem.

Sensory Overload

Many individuals with ADHD struggle with sensory overload. Loud noises, strong smells, and bright lights can be overwhelming and cause you to feel anxious. For me, this is especially challenging when I’m in public places or around large groups of people.

How to Manage:

To manage sensory overload, I try to limit my exposure to triggers when possible. I shop at smaller, less overwhelming stores. You can use things like noise-canceling headphones. I usually put one earbud in with some relaxing music on it when grocery shopping. Sunglasses can also help block out excess visual stimuli.

Taking breaks and finding a quiet space to recharge for a few moments is helpful when you are experiencing sensory overload. If you cannot find a quiet space, closing your eyes and taking a deep, mindful breath in these moments can help ground you and reset your mind.

Social Expectations

As an ADHD mom, I often feel pressure to meet social expectations and “keep up” with other parents. This can be challenging because those of us with ADHD struggle with time management, organization, and motivation. I often feel like I’m falling behind or not doing enough.

How to Manage: 

I try to remind myself that everyone’s journey is different and that it’s okay to do things at my own pace. I also try to focus on my own goals and priorities, rather than comparing myself to others. It is like they say…

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Keeping a gratitude journal helps me see the beauty in our life together as a family, and also helps quiet the self-criticism.

Over-Commitment to Activities

I used to over-commit and pack our schedule full of fun activities, but I would forget to make time for myself to recharge. Ignoring your own needs will inevitably result in burnout.

Parents AND children need to have “downtime” built into their days and weeks. Kids need time to recharge as well. This is especially true if they also have ADHD. 

How to Manage:

Give yourself permission to relax and have lazy days at home. It is perfectly ok to say “no” sometimes when you are overwhelmed. Freeing up our schedule has reduced the stress of needing to be somewhere and doing something every day. Sometimes the best memories are the quiet ones at home. You can cuddle and watch a movie, read a book together, play a favorite board game, or maybe get outside and do some light yard work together to get some fresh air and sunshine if the weather permits.

Signs and Symptoms of ADHD Burnout

I know that some of the symptoms of burnout can sound concerning. But the only way to grow is to pay attention to these symptoms, admit we are NOT perfect, and take action when symptoms arise.

It is important to prioritize compassion towards yourself. Be kind to yourself! Only then can you make adjustments and improvements.

As you read, remember that all of these symptoms can be managed and you CAN live a more peaceful life.

So… what are the signs of ADHD mom burnout?

• Losing Your Temper More Often
• Feeling Detached or Numb
• Avoiding Parenting Duties
• Feelings of Guilt and Inadequacy
• Feeling Resentment Towards Family Members
• Pessimistic Attitude
• Feeling Irritable and Argumentative
• Increased Depression
• Increased Anxiety
• Difficulty Sleeping
• Always Feeling Exhausted
• Headaches and Digestive Issues

Ways to Cope with ADHD Mom Burnout

Now that we know the symptoms of ADHD mom burnout… what can we do about it? Recognizing ADHD burnout and taking action will benefit you AND your children.

Here are some strategies that can help you manage burnout:

Prioritize Self Care

• Take care of yourself. It is not selfish- it is necessary. Set a timer and take a 5 or 10-minute break a few times a day. I find it helpful to take time to close my eyes and breathe if I cannot get away from the children for a break. I often have to remind myself of my priorities and remember not to make mountains out of molehills.
• Get to know your thought patterns and behaviors. Keep a journal or use an app like Daylio to track your mood, behavior patterns, and sleep routines. You can download my free New Year Journal Prompts, which contains a question for every week of the year!
• Meditation and mindfulness. Meditation doesn’t have to be complicated, and you can do it anywhere! It can be 1 minute or 20 minutes- the choice is up to you. I like to use the free version of Insight Timer for meditations. They have meditations of all lengths and featured talks from experienced practitioners on mindfulness to get you started. 

Have Compassion for Yourself

• Be kind to yourself. What would you say to a friend who was going through the same struggles as you? Many times, we are much kinder towards others than we are to ourselves. Thinking of it from this angle helps me have more compassion for myself.
• Keep a Growth Mindset. This all may seem overwhelming, but if we stay in the moment and keep a growth mindset, we can keep our minds in the right place. Practicing daily affirmations is a helpful way to cultivate a Growth Mindset.
• Forget about trying to be perfect. Perfectionism is ultimately just a sign of insecurity. We don’t think we are good enough and we set ourselves up for failure if we strive for perfection. After all, no one is perfect.
• Change negative thoughts to positive thoughts. This is a powerful exercise. Take out a notebook or sheet of paper. Write out your negative thoughts. Then think of a positive statement or affirmation to write next to it. The idea is to focus on the positive statement to counter the negative thought. You can do this in your head throughout the day also- it doesn’t always have to be on paper.

Set Realistic Goals

• Do not try to do everything at once. We are not being fair to ourselves if we try to do all the things and set too many expectations for ourselves. This is overwhelming and leads to burnout. Ask for help from family or friends.
• One degree of change. Something that works well for individuals with ADHD is the “one degree of change” principle. I often try to get organized by setting up a whole new system or routine. Of course, it is too overwhelming, and I give up entirely. Instead, add ONE new thing to your routine at a time. Maybe the first step is to get to bed around the same time every night or to write in your gratitude journal every day. Start small and celebrate the small victories along the way.
• Remember that it takes time. Burnout creeps up on us over several days, weeks, or months. It may take just as long to work our way back to a more stable and peaceful state of mind.

Talk with Your Support System Regularly and Ask for Help

• Talk with SUPPORTIVE friends and family often. Sometimes just talking or venting to someone can help you feel better. Not everyone is going to understand the struggles of living with ADHD, and their advice is sometimes judgmental and, well, not very helpful. 
• Let the negative comments go. Those of us with ADHD already feel bad enough about ourselves for not being able to keep up with daily tasks, so we don’t need anyone saying we are just lazy, immature, or unmotivated. It is unfair to expect someone with ADHD who has executive functioning difficulties to perform the same way someone without these extra obstacles does. 
• Ask for help. Try to delegate tasks to family members when possible to lighten your load. Create a chore schedule and use a chore chart to help keep everyone on track.

Develop Healthy Coping Mechanisms

• Physical Activity. Exercise has been proven countless times to improve mental health. This could be weight training, yoga, running, going for a walk, calisthenics, hiking, etc. You can start small. One or two days a week is a good place to start.
• Get outside. If the weather permits, get some fresh air. Nothing makes me feel better than sitting outside. Listening to the sounds around me helps to ground me. It gives me time to categorize what a BIG problem is, and what a SMALL problem is. 
• Find hobbies you enjoy. I know sometimes hobbies can get out of hand with ADHD because we try to take on too much at once. Choose a hobby and try to stick with it for a while. Maybe try gardening, yoga, or monthly journaling. If you don’t stick to a hobby, it doesn’t mean that you are a failure! If you lose interest in a hobby, it is time to give yourself permission to move on and try a new hobby that you will enjoy more.

 Setting Boundaries

• Learn to say no. I tend to feel bad if I say no to people when they invite me somewhere. Sometimes I feel like I have no legitimate reason to say no, so I have to say yes. But that is a lie I tell myself. It is ok to say no.
• Communication is key. If we keep our struggles to ourselves and try to “tough it out”, we only harm ourselves and the people around us. Surround yourself with supportive people who understand. Start to set boundaries with the toxic people in your life.

Seek Professional Help

• Consider therapy: If you find yourself completely burnt out, overwhelmed, and unable to function, talk to your primary care provider and find a therapist to talk with. They can help you create positive coping strategies and keep you motivated. They can also help identify any other underlying mental health issues that may have been previously overlooked. Remember: It is a strength to know when we need help. It does not mean you are weak and it doesn’t mean you are incapable. You are being proactive so you can become a better person over time.
• Medication: Medication can be an effective treatment for ADHD, but it isn’t always a good fit for everyone. Sometimes it takes a bit of trial and error to find what medication will work for YOU. Talk to your doctor to see if medication is right for you.

Final Thoughts on ADHD Mom Burnout

Living with ADHD can be deeply challenging. But we can look at it with a positive growth mindset. Families with ADHD are given daily opportunities for personal growth. We can become the best versions of ourselves as we become more aware of our thought patterns and how to take control of them to live a more peaceful life.

Remember, managing burnout is a process, and it’s okay to ask for help when you need it. By taking care of yourself, setting boundaries, and seeking support, you can reduce your risk of burnout and feel more balanced and in control.

FAQ

How Long Does ADHD Mom Burnout Last?

ADHD mom burnout can last for days, weeks, or months. It depends on whether or not the individual is aware that they have ADHD in the first place, and whether or not they have developed healthy coping mechanisms to manage the symptoms of burnout.

How Can I Avoid ADHD Mom Burnout?

You can avoid burnout by being proactive when symptoms arise. Learn your thought patterns and behavioral patterns. You can do this by writing daily in a journal or using mood-tracking apps like Daylio. Make sure you are also prioritizing getting enough sleep. 

What Does ADHD Mom Burnout Feel Like?

During ADHD mom burnout, you may experience a variety of symptoms. You may exhibit all of the symptoms or only some. Symptoms include: losing your temper more often, feeling detached, avoiding parenting duties, feelings of guilt or inadequacy, pessimistic attitude, irritability, depression, anxiety, difficulty sleeping, always feeling exhausted, more frequent headaches, and digestive issues.

What Causes ADHD Mom Burnout?

The most common triggers for ADHD burnout include juggling multiple responsibilities, sensory overload, over-commitment to activities, and trying to live up to impossible social standards. It is important to pay close attention to these triggers and be proactive to avoid recurrent episodes of burnout.

How Can I Recover from ADHD Mom Burnout?

There are several things you can do if you are experiencing ADHD mom burnout. It is important to have compassion for yourself, prioritize self-care, set realistic goals, talk with supportive friends or family, develop positive coping mechanisms, set boundaries, and ask others for help to lighten your load. It is also important to seek professional help and work with your doctor or therapist. Discuss whether ongoing treatment or medication may be appropriate for you.