Modern Homemaking 101: How to Keep House in the 21st Century

Have you heard the term “modern homemaking” and wondered what it means?

When I hear the word “homemaker”, I see a 1950s housewife vacuuming while wearing her best apron and high heels. 

But that isn’t what a homemaker’s role looks like anymore. Times have changed.

In this article I discuss what modern homemaking is, what qualities to strive for, what homemaking skills to work on, challenges homemakers may face, and how to embrace the title of modern homemaker.

Let’s get started!

TL;DR: Too Long; Didn’t Read: Modern Homemaking

• Changes in societal expectations mean more women are out in the workforce and more men are staying home.
• The Modern Homemaker focuses on sustainability, frugal living, and nurturing relationships.
• Modern Homemakers should strive to be adaptable, humble, compassionate, efficient, and grateful.
• Some skills the modern homemaker can focus on include home organization, decluttering regularly, grocery shopping, meal planning, and budgeting.
• You don’t have to be perfect! Being a homemaker can get lonely and feel overwhelming. It is important to remember to get out and pursue your interests and hobbies.

What is Modern Homemaking and Why Is It Important?

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, a homemaker is someone who manages a household, especially as a spouse and/or parent.

Over the years I have worked full time AND stayed home full time. I know both sides of the coin! Whether you work outside the home or not- you can always take pride in your home and embrace the art of modern homemaking. 

You don’t have to be perfect or have a perfect house to call yourself a “homemaker”. You don’t even have to be a woman or a mother. According to the Pew Research Center, in 2023, almost 1 in 5 stay-at-home parents in the US were dads. You also don’t have to have a spouse living with you to be a homemaker. Your home is your home no matter WHO lives there. It is about making a HOUSE a HOME.

Another important point is that you don’t need to live in a traditional free-standing house to be a homemaker. A homemaker is someone who takes pride in their home no matter where it is, how big or small it is, or how fancy or simple it is. 

Read on to explore the idea of modern homemaking and how to refine your homemaking skills.

Vintage vs Modern Homemaking: How Homemaking Has Changed Over the Years

There have been rapid advances in technology and major shifts in societal expectations over the years. That’s why modern homemaking looks different than traditional homemaking.

In today’s fast-paced world, homemaking has evolved to encompass much more than just cooking and cleaning. It’s about creating a home that reflects our personalities and values while being efficient and sustainable.

Advances in Technology

Technology has advanced so rapidly over the past several decades that we can hardly keep up with it sometimes.

Technology has created tools to help us be more efficient, more organized, and streamline our lives. There are productivity tools like Notion, Trello, or ToDoist that can help you keep track of important information, create housework schedules, make meal plans, keep shopping lists, and more. 

As a homeschooling mom with ADHD, I know how quickly we can lose track of time. I constantly use timers on my iPhone, Apple Watch, and Alexa products to help me stay on track. I use timers frequently in the kitchen to avoid things like forgetting I am boiling a pot of water, or not hearing the beeping when something is done baking in the oven. It has saved me on more than one occasion!

One fun aspect of modern homemaking is incorporating smart technology into your home. From smart thermostats to automated lighting systems, technology can make homemaking easier and more convenient.

A Focus On Sustainable Living

As a Millennial, I have grown up hearing about the impact humans are having on our planet. I am very passionate about sustainability and being conscious of how much waste I am creating. That’s why I do things like shop second-hand when possible, and I try to reduce waste by composting our food scraps to fertilize our vegetable garden.

Modern homemakers are always on the lookout for sustainable products and systems to keep their homes in order while being aware of their effect on the environment. You can invest in energy-efficient appliances to save money AND reduce waste.

Changes in Societal Expectations

Women’s rights have evolved over the past several decades, and so has society’s general view of women. More dads are staying home, many single mothers are supporting their families, and parents are working from home in numbers never seen before. 

I work from home running my website. Now more than ever, there are options for you to work from home, no matter what your background is. It is especially important to keep your home tidy and in order when it is not just your home, but also your office. Our house is our home, our school, our office, and our place of relaxation.

Homemaking has taken on a whole new meaning in the 21st century!

How to Embrace the Title of Modern Homemaker

Homemaking is a privilege- not a duty or chore. But it doesn’t always FEEL that way.

Think of homemaking like this instead: you can serve your family and provide them with a stable and loving environment. You can give your children a nurturing home so they can grow up in a more calm environment.

Most importantly, make sure to take care of your mental health. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we cannot take care of anyone or anything else. Make sure to make time for your interests or hobbies. I know as a mother I tend to take care of everyone else first, and that usually leads to burnout. Avoiding burnout is more advantageous than waiting until we get to the point of burnout and have to recover from it.

If the budget is the concern- maybe you could start a home-based business! Brainstorm business ideas like pet-sitting, date night babysitting, or even starting your own online business or blog. Any of these options would be a great way to earn some extra cash!

Qualities Every Modern Homemaker Can Strive For

An efficient homemaker knows that we have to work on ourselves consistently and that we are not perfect. There are always new skills to learn and character flaws to notice and work to change.

Here are some qualities to focus on to live a more productive and fulfilling life as a modern homemaker:

Adaptability

Life constantly brings change. We are a military family, so we have been moving around every 2-3 years since 2009. It has not been easy, but it has taught my family and me how to be almost infinitely adaptable. We make the best of whatever location the military has sent us to.

Things don’t always go according to plan, and as homemakers, we have to adapt and overcome. It can be overwhelming when we are expected to always have the right answer. That’s why it is important to do your best to have a support system in place and ask for help regularly.

Humility and Asking for Help

Homemakers should be willing to learn and admit their mistakes. This is a hard one for most of us. No one likes to admit they are wrong, especially to our children. I have found that sharing my struggles with my children has made them more willing to help me. They see me as a person with finite energy levels that can only do so much, instead of just thinking of me as some sort of robot that cleans up after them and keeps the house clean.

We have to have the humility to realize that we cannot do everything on our own. For many years I never asked for help and just pushed through every day.

After I had many burnouts and meltdowns, I realized that it was time to ask for help.

As my children get older, the housework gets a little easier also. They help me by doing their chores (which of course requires a little encouragement from me). But it is like I always tell my kids when I ask for help, many hands make light work.

Compassion and Empathy

As a modern homemaker, you’ll want to give off a compassionate and inviting vibe in your home. Being a good host is a point of pride for homemakers. 

Being compassionate also allows us to have better relationships with our spouses and children. We can strive to be empathetic to our children and teenagers when they are being difficult and testing our patience. Take a few moments and think back to what it was like to be their age.

If you are like me and had an abusive or challenging adolescence, give them what no one ever gave you.

Efficient and Determined

Busy homemakers are always looking for the most efficient way to do things within the home. Come up with systems that work in YOUR home.

The secret is to tweak your current systems and processes slowly. The goal is to find the quickest way to do things, while still doing a good job. Save that time and energy for something else, like a hobby or a self-care night.

Gratitude

Find joy in the little things! Cultivating gratitude will be an essential skill. Try keeping a gratitude journal or just think of one thing you are grateful for in the morning and throughout the day as needed. Writing daily affirmations along with your daily gratitude will help you keep a growth mindset throughout your day.

Revisit your “Why”. WHY did you decide to embark on your homemaking journey? Gently reminding yourself of the benefits of homemaking will help you shift your mindset back to baseline. I have to do this regularly. We are creating a loving and nurturing home for our families, and that is an immense privilege. 

You Don’t Need To Be Perfect

REMEMBER: You don’t have to be perfect. We are all a work in progress.

I have struggled immensely with my mental health over the years. I go through deep depressive episodes where I cannot do ANYTHING productive. Some weeks go by and I slack on cooking, cleaning, and responsibilities in general.

I try to be kind to myself and know that I WILL feel like myself again (eventually) and remind myself that I am doing the best that I can in that moment.

I AM doing a good job even if I “fail” along the way. And so are YOU! The most important thing is that everyone is happy and healthy in the end.

By making a consistent effort over time, the good memories will outweigh the bad ones. Trust me on this one.

You are doing a great job, even if you don’t feel like you are. 

Modern Homemaking Skills and Duties

Any one of these would make a great new hobby idea!

If you are a new homemaker, it may seem like you have an overwhelming amount of skills to learn. But remember, we get better at something by continuing to learn a little bit at a time, and in turn, we get a little bit better every day. Don’t try to learn it all at once. Start with one new skill- get good at it and make it a habit. Then refine your system and add in more new skills or habits over time. It takes patience, and it is important to have compassion for ourselves along the way. 

Here are some of the most important modern homemaking skills and duties that every homemaker should learn:

Home Management and Organization

Modern homemakers prioritize keeping a tidy home by maximizing efficiency in their home management systems.

Managing a home and family can be very overwhelming at times. Consider creating a home management binder as mentioned earlier. In your binder, you can keep calendars, chore lists, to-do lists, meal plans, etc. Make sure to keep it in a central location and work towards making it a habit to use it every day. 

Declutter regularly and Keep up on Chores

You’ll want to declutter regularly to keep things from piling up. MOST people get overwhelmed by clutter, myself included. I have ADHD and it affects me deeply to be in a chaotic and cluttered environment. I try to prioritize creating a cleaning schedule for the whole family.

I also strive for simple living. Less stuff means less time cleaning and organizing. That leaves more time for keeping up on the tasks that need to be done first to maintain a clean house.

The same goes for chores. Keep up on household tasks with whatever productivity tool works best for you, and don’t forget to delegate tasks to family members. You could do this with wall chore charts or have everyone’s chores in a master family binder in a central location. Keeping a clean and tidy home is a group effort, and shouldn’t fall solely on you.

Grocery Shopping and Meal Planning

One of the most important aspects of modern homemaking is providing nutritious meals to ourselves and our families. Processed food is readily available and widely consumed. I strive to feed my family whole foods as much as possible. I am not perfect of course, and we regularly have frozen pizza nights or order food when in a pinch. And that’s ok!

I generally like to meal plan on Sundays for the week. I take an inventory of what we already have and then I make a shopping list. I like to involve the kids and give them a chance to learn basic skills like meal planning and safety in the kitchen.

It can be overwhelming to keep up with meal planning and grocery shopping. This course on Skillshare can help you get started and help ease the stress of trying to consistently feed your family nutritious meals.

Budgeting

Many homemakers stay home full-time, often making finances difficult. That is why frugal living is important to the modern homemaker. We are always trying to find the best deals. 

I love going to thrift stores to find clothes for the kids or furniture we may need for the house. You would be surprised what you might find. Plus, you might find unique gifts for family and friends!

Couponing is a great way to save money on groceries, and it might be a fun new hobby.

You could start a monthly budget sheet and keep track of income and expenses. 

Look into starting a home-based business for some extra income! This could be products you make and sell, babysitting services, pet sitting services, or an online business. There are so many entrepreneurial opportunities out there like starting a blog, selling print-on-demand products, consulting services, or opening up an Etsy shop to sell your physical or digital creations. Selling locally on Facebook marketplace could bring in some extra cash too. The possibilities are endless!

How Striving to Be a Good Homemaker Benefits You and Your Family

Here are a few ways modern homemaking could transform your home:

A clean environment allows everyone to think more clearly which helps us so much with our homeschooling. Without me taking care of myself and keeping the house in order, there would be no way homeschooling and unschooling could flourish in our home.

Don’t forget to involve your children. They will benefit from learning these skills too!

Challenges of Modern Homemaking

The Distraction of Technology

It is much easier to play on my phone than it is to put the laundry away. I am sure most people can relate to that. 

It is important to put the phone or laptop aside and spend time with your family. It is easier said than done sometimes, but it pays off over time as your relationships with your children and other family members flourish.

It Can Get Very Lonely

If you are a homemaker who stays home full time or works from home like me, you may feel isolated sometimes. It is easy to give in and isolate, but it is important to remember to prioritize self-care and your mental health. 

Make sure to talk with supportive family and friends regularly. Online groups are great too. I’ve become friends with other moms online, and some of them have turned into lifelong friendships. 

It Can Be Overwhelming At Times

Keeping a home in order can start to feel thankless, especially when our children are younger and constantly undo any tidying that we did previously. I always liken it to shoveling while it is still snowing. Decluttering and keeping things simple helps with this.

It is important to ask for help. It is not sustainable for one person to run a whole house and manage all the family tasks. Learn to delegate tasks to family members to help keep your house in order.

Combat the overwhelm by staying connected with other moms or friends- even when you don’t feel like it. Make sure to read blogs or other resources to find modern homemaking encouragement. Discover homemaking tips from others and keep yourself inspired and motivated.

Monthly journaling can help with resetting your mindset and creating clear and actionable goals for the upcoming month.

Remind yourself that “off” days (or weeks) are ok and perfectly normal! We cannot have 100% energy every day. We are only human and we have finite energy levels.

Make sure to prioritize work-life balance. Yes, homemaking IS a full-time job, especially with kids around. Make sure you make time for what makes YOU feel relaxed, refreshed, and revitalized. 

People Can Be Judgmental

People can be judgmental regarding pretty much ANY decision you will ever make in your life. Let the comments and unsolicited advice roll right off you and rest assured that you are making the right decision for YOUR family. YOUR family is not THEIR family and vice versa. What works for one family doesn’t work for every family.

Do what is best for you and your family. Let the negative comments go.

Concentrate on what matters- your home and the people within it. 

Final Thoughts

Modern homemaking is an art and a privilege, not a duty or chore. 

It is a personal choice, and may not be right for everyone- and that’s ok! There is nothing wrong with choosing to stay home and care for your family and home full-time. 

Just remember to take breaks and make time for yourself. It’s like they say, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Feel free to leave a comment with any advice you have learned along the way that might help others. Let’s build each other up and support each other in our modern homemaking journeys.

I wish you the best of luck!

If you are interested in homeschooling, check out my favorite homeschooling books that have helped us out along the way.